Please
by splotdog
Summary: Leo has replied to stargirl's letter and plans to only do it once, but he soon finds himself in a circle that he can't get out of.
1. Don't

Dear Stargirl,

No, please don't love me, please don't miss me, please don't change again, not for me, I don't deserve it.

I read your letter, twice, every world killed me, I was only happy when you were angry at me, or when you were with Perry, it isn't right. I loved you when you were here but, now your not, you moved away and I moved on with my life. I started living the life I lived before you, with Kevin and school, no desert walks, no meditating sessions.

I thought of you, now and again. But, you weren't the main thing in my life anymore. I got a girlfriend, Cristina, she's no Stargirl but I love her, all the same.

I sent you that note, you know the one with that word on to answer a different question, one you asked me just before you left. Do you remember? You asked if I would be able to get over you, it was a joke but I thought about it for days, the answer was yes.

You said Archie said I was nearly deserving of you well, its not true, I'm not deserving of you. I changed you, you used to only know happiness, you used to have a full happy wagon, know you have an empty one. Its all my fault, I hate myself for it and I hope you hate me for it.

Please don't reply, I don't deserve it, please throw this away, don't keep it, don't treasure it, please don't love me, I don't deserve it.

Leo


	2. Love

Stargirl,

I just heard it, on the news. I couldn't believe my ears. Is it true? Did it really happen? Apparently you were found with a letter in your hands, I think I know who it was from, am I right?

I'm writing this at school and everyone is talking about it, saying it was a tragedy. Only two people survived, you and a twenty eight year old man but apparently he doesn't seem to be coping well. By the time you read this it will probably all be old news but I don't care.

The train was heading towards Arizona, and you were on it, with my letter. What were you doing? You're killing me here, what happened? I love you, the truth is I will never be over you. It's amazing you're still alive, almost like we have been given a second chance. How about that? a second chance.

Class is about to begin, please tell me when you wake up. Please, I love you.

Leo


	3. Him

Stargirl,

I know I wrote to you yesterday but I realise I missed something out, I lied. Remember that girlfriend of mine? She doesn't exist, I wanted you to move on so, I just lied.

I'm really sorry honey. It's my fault, not yours. I'm sorry it's me, all me.

Well I guess I have nothing else to say, just remember me, I'm truly sorry.

Leo.


	4. When

Stargirl,

It's me again. I know I rote yesterday, and the day before that but I can't stop, I guess it's kind of like you worlds longest letter, designed to be small but you couldn't stop. But mine was designed to be a one off, I can't stop.

I got a letter from a friend of yours today, Dootsie, I don't know how she got my address, but, she did. She says you're getting better, that's good to hear. I'm writing this letter during math and our teacher keeps looking at me awkwardly, there's a rumour going round that she fancies me. I play a long with the joke but I'm never really paying attention.

Recently I just can't get you out of my mind. I went to the desert yesterday and tried to meditate, I'm still no good at that, but I promise I'll get better. I'm going to go at least once a week. I won't break this promise, if I do you can do what you want with me.

My mum says I can come and visit you, would that be ok? I found out where you live because of the news reports. I understand if you don't.

I guess I better go then, just remember, when you wake up, let me know.

Love, Leo.


	5. I'm

Stargirl,

I came to see you yesterday, I got to meet Dootsie and see your mum again but I didn't really pay attention to them, you were the only thing I cared about. I've kept my promise so far, meditated every week and every week I leave one word written on a tree there. So far I've written these words, 'don't' 'love' 'him' 'when'. I'm going again tomorrow and I'm going to leave 'I'm' have you guessed what I'm doing? You'll have to work it out before I tell you. When I'm finished I'll tell you what it is.

I'm writing this letter at home, in my back garden. It's really hot here and most of the flowers are slowly dying, every time I look at them it makes me sad and I somehow get reminded of you, lying on your hospital bed pale and limp.

I really don't know what else to say, school broke up last week and everyone has something they want to do for you. Your mum's all up for it but I'm afraid I can't tell you what it is. It's to make you feel happy and appreciated when you wake up, we want that wagon of yours to get full again.

Well, I guess that's it so bye Stargirl, remember to tell me when, and remember I love you. Just remember.

Leo.


	6. Still

Stargirl,

Hey, how are you? I haven't written in ages but that doesn't mean I stopped thinking about you. I've been doing my weekly meditating, I becoming quite a pro, when I went yesterday I wrote another word on the tree I haven't done that for ages, I wrote still. It suited everything really because that's what it's been like over here. Just, still.

School started again and ever since it's been snowing, everything keeps going past so quickly, Mrs Foaset keeps giving everyone 'surprise tests but no one really cares. I'm not the only one everyone's gone completely, still over here. That's the only word that suites it. It's sort of like when an old lady gets mugged, they just keep walking along smiling, clueless and, still.

I guess I've got to go now, just remember I'm still here. And when you wake up tell me, I'll still be waiting, even if it's in fifty years time, I'll be waiting.

Leo.


	7. Waiting

Leo,

Waiting, that's you're next word. Don't love him when I'm still waiting. You don't need to worry Leo, I won't, I definitely won't.

Stargirl.


End file.
